Wednesday, April 23, 2008

sleepless nights..

Once again, I couldn't sleep. Last night I had a good and sound sleep.. But I woke up every 2 hours just to visit my favorite and most RELAXED place--the toilet. Tonight, I woke up to visit it again and couldn't get back to sleep. Was thinking of my finances and struggling within myself on whether I should get a PSP slim and lite!

The sad thing is, I did my accounts and realised that I can't afford to get one for myself at the moment to pamper myself. How sad is that? When will I ever clear my everlasting humongous debts+commitments and live in luxury? Maybe not in luxury but just indulge in something that I like.. FOR ONCE? Wendy said she fought very hard for everything in life. I think I fought very hard for everything in life too! Can I not have such a hard life? Sometimes it's just so sad and discouraging that I never seemed to be able to enjoy the fruits of my labour. Why???!!! Work so hard for what? What have I done wrong to deserve all these?? Have I not love much and given much to God and others? When will my breakthrough in finances come?

Fall in love also fall in love with the wrong person. Why? Is my character really that bad that I need to go through so much moulding? Ya. Maybe. I have a complaining spirit. Cast it out in Jesus' name! I'm no longer sane.

Dear Father, crucify my flesh to stop me from self pity and the feeling of dissatisfaction with life. Renew my mind! Life is still beautiful without all these. Holy Spirit, help me to focus my attention on work and building good relationships with people that goes a long way more than what material things can satisfy. Father, You have given me the power to get wealth, so may I have Your wisdom to utilise that power and be prosperous like never before! Jesus, let Your peace always be with me and that I'll never forget Your love for me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

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